August 7th, 2020

Real quick, just wanna shout out the individual that gave me this suggestion. I appreciate it. Always means alot. 100%.

There’s alot honestly that I could talk about. Do I really ever want to talk about what’s on my mind? No, not really. On a real level, no one truly cares. That’s not being pessimistic. That’s just the harsh reality. Am I hard on myself? Yeah I am.. No one would take a bullet for me. That’s why I push myself to be the shield for others. It’s called empathy. Memento Amoris, remembering to love. You still…


August 4th, 2020

There’s just something about going super early in the morning or very late at night doing peaks. Fortunately I did super early in the morning for both. It was the two peaks I wanted to experience both with Elizabeth. Granted I didn’t get that, when I did them, it gave me a ton of time to think. It put alot in perspective. It brought a ton of emotions, especially when I did Bennie. The first time that I got to do it and attempt it we didn’t go all the way to the peak, we went to…


It’s been about 2 weeks since I wrote last. Nothing’s changed really. Just life has felt the same. Had a few more breakdowns than usual since a year ago around this time, knowing how the relationship ended, it’s just been dreams and flashbacks of everything. Never would I have thought I’d only get to spend one birthday with the first person I grew in love with. Even though we were together only for a few months before that first birthday, the relationship didn’t feel developed until we started living with each other.

I can’t tell you how excited I was…


Hey everyone. I know I haven’t wrote anything for about the past two months pretty much. I know my last medium was different than what I’ve normally wrote before. This is therapy for me. What I’m thinking gets written down. It helps me cope with whatever I’m feeling in the moment and I have no shame in what I write. Everything I write is with pure intent. It’s the only place I can freely speak my mind and not feel judged for it. I do pray alot, not so much for myself but for others I care about. I’ll be…


God,

Alot of the time I don’t know if you’re listening or if you can hear me. I lack faith wondering what’s supposed to happen next in my life, if anything or anyone good, is suppose to come. My heart is broken and heavy.. I have so much anger and hurt inside that I don’t know how to cope with it. I’m tired and exhausted from feeling this way. I miss someone that I know I probably shouldn’t anymore but I still do. Everyone tells me that I’m crazy and that I just need to forget and move on, but…


Hey everyone, I know it’s been 2 weeks or so since I’ve wrote on here. It’s just been super crazy last two weeks. Alot has happened since then.

Finally into the new place. Back in an area that was nice to be in even several years back. It’s definitely quiet and nice. Not having to live on a major busy street is also great as well. A place that my parents will stay in until they pass and hand it down to me at some point in the future.

Also took a small break from streaming as well because of…


May 5th entry..

So it’s May 5th, Cinco de Mayo, honestly can’t believe it’s already May. 5 months into the new year. Time sure does go by quickly when you stay busy. I’ve had alot on my mind as usual the past few weeks since I wrote last. Was able to find a second job on my days off from my main job right now to keep myself occupied and my mind off certain things. So I’m back to working almost 100 hrs a week again non stop. On top of getting ready to move to a new place as well, it’s been…


It’s currently April 18th and a Sunday. Spending time with family while being on call for work. Staying at a hotel since we’re finally selling our condo and home that my sister and I grew up in for the last 16 years. It’s definitely weird in a way because it was meant to be temporary at the time in 2004, yet 2008 happened, housing and financial markets crashed and was stuck after that. Yet, it’ll be a nice change as we’ll be moving into a much bigger space and better area. Been finishing all the small renovations made with the…


The flame that went dark…

I started writing this months ago and by the time I finish it, could be 6 months or close to a year before it sees the light of day.. It hasn’t been easy to get my thoughts down onto this because of the emotions it’s brought. I’ve wrote other things, yet I have some things that I haven’t posted for personal reasons and maybe someday I will. Medium has turned into more of a personal thing.. so this is what it’s become for me. Therapy. …


Which is better?…

Hey Medium fam, coming back at you with another blog! It’s currently Saturday October 12th and it’s about 10pm to say the least. I know I haven’t done a medium for almost a month really and to be quite honest I took a day or two off from social media this past week to just kind of regain focus since I just felt a bit burnt out and needed to put some balance back into my life of figuring out what direction I want to take with social media and everything. Kinda putting my digital marketing agency…

Cameron May

Utah - 801 || Medium = Therapy

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